But I’m Educated

I went to school, sat still in class
And watched 15 strange years pass
Then one day I was felicitated
And they said I’m educated.

Unfortunately, my education
Was impervious to any vocation
My vanity was quickly deflated
And I rued the day I was educated.

I wondered then and wonder now
What was I educated on, and how?
I just know facts that are unrelated
Apparently that makes me educated.

“But I don’t know anything,” said I
As I couldn’t spot half-truths and lies
They said it’s okay, we’re all frustrated
But at least we’re all educated.

I fear that most of my education
Was a course on generalisation
Help, I’ve been indoctrinated!
I wish I weren’t so educated.

Why do people romanticise jingo
Why is violence entwined in our lingo?
My father says its complicated
But it’s good that I’m educated.

I sought a use for my educated views
So I lobbed fruitless facts at the news
I took pleasure in being opinionated
As I was grievously educated.

Something was amiss, I realised
When the things that I most despised
Instead of being actively berated
Were being abetted by the educated.

I tired soon of my tedious tirade
My quotidian quips were unmade
I then reopened, much too belated
The Curious Case of Being Educated.

I slowly open my ears, open my eyes
Listen to the madmen and question the wise
As my former education is dissipated
Bit by bit I’m being educated.

Rant of a 21st Century Over-underachiever

I need a Time Turner.
I want to do too many things
But I am good at too few.
I want to write a novel
That people will read and
Be moved to tears (or joy,
I haven’t yet decided).

I want a double master’s
For a knowledgeable future
And also a double-fluency
In the ukelele and violin
With smatterings of tabla.
I want to be an educator
And a graphic designer
And a comic artist.

I want to travel the world
Without having to worry
I want to please my parents
And be my own personality.
I want a house of my own
Where my whim is law.

I want a girlfriend
Who is and isn’t me
(Who wants someone
that self-deprecating?)
And likes dogs.

I want to pick up
French and Russian
From where I left them
And read Tolstoy/Balzac in
The original, even if
I balk at the English.

I want to learn coding
in HTML5, JS, PHP
And no more be irked
At my ideas not being
Executed to perfection.

I want to exercise and
Be in perfect health
And not be so woeful
At shortness of breath.

I want respect/admiration
I want fruitful debate
I want some measure of success
I want full measure of love
I want to play with my dog
And drive at 130 kmph every day.

I want to watch every movie
Ever recommended to me and
All the TV shows hoarded
In my 2TB. Am 22, at the
Edge of 23. If not a bloody
Time Turner, what else
Could ever set me free?